i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
