This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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