I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can I color on your dick again?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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