This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize