he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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