Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
time to smoke my breakfast
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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