He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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