I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
