dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
