I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
