Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
