Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
