gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
