Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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