The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
