Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
