He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
