would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
