Plan B is the new Plan A
Non-Jews are for practice
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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