dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
