how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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