and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need to sanitize my soul.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
