I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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