We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
