i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
