This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
