So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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