Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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