Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
