at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
