If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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