Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
