Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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