oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
