Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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