I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
