So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
