the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
