i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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