I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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