I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
