love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
