Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
