yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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