I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize