Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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