plz talk dirty to me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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