that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
