Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need a beard to bite.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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