I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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