sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
