I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize