Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
