A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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