Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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