did you get engaged???
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize