At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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