and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
