the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize