is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
