He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
